Everything Changes Once You Have Kids

It never ceases to amaze me how much life has changed now that I have children. And it's not just life in general, but also how I approach things and how I think.

Everything revolves around my children - the day is centred around their schedules, not mine. When we go shopping - it's for them, not me. They are constantly on my mind, and everything I do is to make their lives better.

But most of all, it changes how I think.

When I see that car racing down the road I'm thinking about how fast they are going, and if my child was running across the road they would have gotten hit real bad.

When I'm out shopping I'm in a constant "worry" mode, keeping tabs on the kids making sure they don't get away and be snatched up by some crazy person.

When I'm driving I'm more cautious because I'm responsible for the lives of the little ones in the back seat.

I can not imagine my life without my kids. If I was to lose one of them, I don't know what I would do. It completely changes my perspective and attitude when dealing with people how have had to suffer the horrible loss of a child. I can't imagine having to go through that, and having to "move on". Now, being a mom, I don't think you can ever get over a death of a child, you just choose to continue living however it works for you.

I can't think about abortion without feeling absolutely sick to my stomach. The thought of someone killing their child - I just can't comprehend it, especially after seeing my own children's ultrasounds at 12 weeks and the little hands and feet and mouth....

I was reading Jodi Picoult's newest book this weekend, "The Storyteller" and it is all about the Holocaust. She has one section in the book that talks about where the Jews were thrown into pits and then all shot in the head, and she talks about a mother "tucking" in her 3-year-old beside her, getting ready to die. The book is fiction, but the atrocities that occurred are not. And now that I'm a mother crimes against children seem to affect me way more because I'm constantly thinking how I would feel if that was my child.

And life seems to just speed on by. And some days I just can't wait for the day to end, but then I remember that everyday with my children is a gift, and it's not a day that I will get back. Life is too short and my kids are growing up way too quickly.

It's always a good reminder to me to take time each day to just cuddle and snuggle and hug and kiss my little ones and tell them how much I love them, and cherish every day no matter how stressful it may be.




No comments:

Post a Comment